Dear Some people I wish could forgive me

This post has been written for Day 13 of the 30 Days 30 letters challenge. Topic for today: A Letter to Someone you wish could forgive you

This letter is dedicated to two different bunches of my family members.


Dear Some people I wish could forgive me,

I never thought I would write this to you or even tell you this. Today, thanks to the compulsion of writing this letter that I am writing to you.

I know you all have a lot of expectations from me: of being a certain way I am supposed to be, seeing you frequently, spending time with you, doing/ following certain norms, practices and traditions and of being present at most social occasions.

At your end, you’re not probably wrong for you may either have seen your children/ siblings/ family do the same and it is obvious that the expectation passes on to me, for I am no different, very much a part of your family.

However, I have been different; my thinking, attitude and experiences perhaps have shaped me so. I have not been in your company as regularly as I must be. I don’t think and approach life, people, family, traditions, relatives, the way you do. Avoiding attending a certain random relative’s wedding ceremony or skipping a certain festival or pooja to work, college, school or at times, mere disinterest and disbelief, doesn’t give me second thoughts or regrets. I just do it. I am fine with it. I know you are not. That one decision of mine, perhaps is too hard and ruthless on you. You tend to get hurt, with my absence, and withdrawal of my interest, thinking I don’t care. Perhaps!

I want to let you know you that with all my decision and actions, I have never once had the intention to hurt any of you, yet I know that what I have done has hurt you.

I am a certain way. All I seek is that understanding and acceptance, that I am that way and perhaps may not change. Meeting you less often, not attending your/ your relative’s wedding, not visiting your place frequently or not adopting a certain tradition won’t make me love and respect you less. Please don’t guage my love and respect on those grounds. I’m just not the way you are!

I know you would have a thousand points to counter this, you may even call me a snob, a busy and stubborn person and highly unwilling.  However, I am sure you will understand and accept things one day and forgive me.

 

Love,

Niyati

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