Many of us have experienced the set of annoying relatives and family friends! Love them or Hate them, you simply can’t ignore them; for they cease to be normal most often! The other day I wrote about Atithi Tum Kab Jaoge on somewhat similar lines. Discussions with friends and colleagues over certain typical relatives or family friends/ acquaintances in general, brings me to this post.
Let me enumerate a few types!
These uncles and aunts, and grand-uncles and -aunts are way too much concerned about you and think they can be the best agony aunts! At the same time, they think they’ve lived a balanced life learning good and bad from their experiences. Fair enough! And then they will shower all their experience on you as and when they get a chance! When we speak of a generation gap or some forward thinking we got or simply tell them (upon their asking) that we were at a friend’s place having a vodka party, “Beta, We’ve seen an era! We know how it is! You don’t understand how horrible the consequences can be! You’re still a kid! You’ve not seen this world at all!” The problem is: it doesn’t end there! I could probably take that if I were a 10 year-old but being 25: an adult and an employed/ earning citizen, won’t that be a bit too much?
The Ascetics and Believers!
Uncle has given up alcohol, smoking and has turned a vegetarian after enjoying the golden moments, even those wild pubs of Delhi, till 40 and has turned to Yoga, Meditation, Pooja-paath, being vegetarian and the rest. For them, not going to a temple or not performing pooja everyday makes us atheists, despite us having our faith in place! Moreover, uncle will spend the one get together your family has in a year’s time, convincing you of the error of your ways. Dude, they’re holier and purer than you! After meeting them, I feel that imposing religious, traditional and spiritual beliefs and practices in anyone should be made a legal offence!
The Success Stories-Uncle-and-Aunty!
Uncle’s tales of his accomplishments and his son’s school grades, sports medals, Engineering/ Medicine-Degrees from International Universities and MNC Jobs – they all seem never ending! In the end, even if you hardly care, you’re made to feel you and your kids are a miserable failure in life. Anything less than a Doctor or Engineer is a shame! So what if you’re a self-employed photographer and travel the world and do the most interesting things those engineers might hardly get to do even on holidays, you just press buttons, there’s no skill! So what if you’re a writer for a leading magazine or an English Daily or a War Correspondent, even a class 10th kid can write English – what new did you do! Basically you cease to exist!
You are their relative: this fact entitles them to know every detail about your life, the salon you go to; the restaurant you date your boyfriend with; your why-the-hell-you-are-25-and-single status; why-the-hell-don’t-you-get-this-beauty-treatment-done; even the brand and type of inner wear you put on; your married life and so on!
Curious no; inquisitive inherently! “What? You’re married for 2 years and have no kids!” |Cut|”Beta, I tell you, this pammi aunty’s son fell for a Marwari girl and what all he faced in life, baba! You better take care and don’t fall prey to such girls haan!” | Cut | “Don’t even think of sending your son to that college; else get prepared he’ll come out alcoholic, with long hair, nerdy beard and a girl from some other state!” and so on! What follows? Rumour Mongering!
The Narad Munis!
They think everybody in your family, from your spouse, to your children to your parents cease to understand you and do you deliberate and intentional injustice! “You have never been understood in your family! Poor Dear! I feel so sorry for you! I exactly know what you’re going through! But I don’t understand why do you take it from them and not fight instead” The agony aunt feels she did some great job by consoling you and the next day you end up in an argument with your family members! According to her, everything you think is ruining your world is right and will strongly supports the one you feel like strangling to death!
“I am the Best”-Syndrome-affected Brats
Such cousins, aunts, uncles make you feel miserable than ever before! You go to shop with them and they’re like, “I buy stuff from this place! They have this specific brand I like! Very classy stuff you know!” Even if you find that place horrible, they’ll take you there for shopping and buy something of their choice for you! “Oh you didn’t watch those X-men Cartoons or play those action-packed video games? Dude, you’ve been clearly deprived in your childhood!” Even if you found watching travel shows and reading books more interesting than the stuff the moron did, you’re a loser! “Oh man! you’re 13 and you don’t get yourself waxed or upper lips and eyebrows threaded! In my school, people will laugh at me for this!” I’ll take that pain when I think I can handle it!